Venting

Frustrated with my job hunt. Got offered a job I like but at a much lower pay rate than I was making. Tried to negotiate and was told no. Company does have growth potential I think. But do I want to settle for this lesser pay to wait around. Had an interview today for another company that went well and I'll be moving onto next round of interviews but that doesn't mean I'll get it, but I think I'd be happy there and they'll meet my salary expectations. So...what to do.

I've had several people say I should take this offer in front of me and if this better one comes through tell the first place I changed my mind cause I need to look out for myself. But I know in my head that's a dick move to do, and I'd hate doing it.

I'm having such extreme inner turmoil. This sucks.

Jul 7, 2017 4:46:32 GMT 10 ratchetrachel said:

Frustrated with my job hunt. Got offered a job I like but at a much lower pay rate than I was making. Tried to negotiate and was told no. Company does have growth potential I think. But do I want to settle for this lesser pay to wait around. Had an interview today for another company that went well and I'll be moving onto next round of interviews but that doesn't mean I'll get it, but I think I'd be happy there and they'll meet my salary expectations. So...what to do.

I've had several people say I should take this offer in front of me and if this better one comes through tell the first place I changed my mind cause I need to look out for myself. But I know in my head that's a dick move to do, and I'd hate doing it.

I'm having such extreme inner turmoil. This sucks.

Always go with gut feelings.

I'd turn first one down if it was me.

(unless you're desperate for cash)

Jul 7, 2017 7:12:30 GMT 10 @ackack said:

Jul 7, 2017 4:46:32 GMT 10 ratchetrachel said:

Frustrated with my job hunt. Got offered a job I like but at a much lower pay rate than I was making. Tried to negotiate and was told no. Company does have growth potential I think. But do I want to settle for this lesser pay to wait around. Had an interview today for another company that went well and I'll be moving onto next round of interviews but that doesn't mean I'll get it, but I think I'd be happy there and they'll meet my salary expectations. So...what to do.

I've had several people say I should take this offer in front of me and if this better one comes through tell the first place I changed my mind cause I need to look out for myself. But I know in my head that's a dick move to do, and I'd hate doing it.

I'm having such extreme inner turmoil. This sucks.

Always go with gut feelings.

I'd turn first one down if it was me.

(unless you're desperate for cash)

I did turn it down as they needed me to decide today. Hoping it was the right decision. This is stressful.

Jul 7, 2017 7:22:53 GMT 10 ratchetrachel said:

Jul 7, 2017 7:12:30 GMT 10 @ackack said:

Always go with gut feelings.

I'd turn first one down if it was me.

(unless you're desperate for cash)

I did turn it down as they needed me to decide today. Hoping it was the right decision. This is stressful.

I hope it works out for you.

you're worth more than lower pay anyway so you did the right thing

Thanks guys. I seriously cannot believe I managed to do it 😑 I feel like such an idiot lol. I was rushing and I am so used to there not being any cars parked there (Our street is super narrow which makes for very little reversing and parking space) and it was a black car, at night so I just did not even see it!! My husband reckons it will be fine and our insurance should cover most of it and we will just pay the excess. Fingers crossed!!

I'm probably telling you how to suck eggs but see if you can get a quote from a body shop first.
Might be cheaper than excess and you won't get screwed over for the next 5 years on insurance.

I would seriously try and avoid insurance company if you can.

Jul 7, 2017 7:53:34 GMT 10 @ackack said:

I'm probably telling you how to suck eggs but see if you can get a quote from a body shop first.
Might be cheaper than excess and you won't get screwed over for the next 5 years on insurance.

I would seriously try and avoid insurance company if you can.

This for sure! A lot of times the final cost isn't much over what you have to pay with the deductible anyways.

Jul 7, 2017 8:05:10 GMT 10 ratchetrachel said:

Jul 7, 2017 7:53:34 GMT 10 @ackack said:

I'm probably telling you how to suck eggs but see if you can get a quote from a body shop first.
Might be cheaper than excess and you won't get screwed over for the next 5 years on insurance.

I would seriously try and avoid insurance company if you can.

This for sure! A lot of times the final cost isn't much over what you have to pay with the deductible anyways.

You are easily look at minimum a 20% increase per year x 5 years, plus the losses in no claims if you weren't protected. 
Even if it's a few hundred pounds to repair it could be cheaper to get a small loan or overdraft than to get absolutely shafted by the insurance companies. 

Yeah I don't know, I am going to let my husband sort it anyway because the car is actually his, I just drive it. We haven't heard from the person yet, so we will see how we go with them. The dent is not major so I don't know what they will want to do, you know?

Jul 7, 2017 12:24:33 GMT 10 kiki said:

Yeah I don't know, I am going to let my husband sort it anyway because the car is actually his, I just drive it. We haven't heard from the person yet, so we will see how we go with them. The dent is not major so I don't know what they will want to do, you know?

If they're uninsured or something they might not reach out to you for fear of being busted themselves.

Jul 7, 2017 13:59:23 GMT 10 ratchetrachel said:

Jul 7, 2017 12:24:33 GMT 10 kiki said:

Yeah I don't know, I am going to let my husband sort it anyway because the car is actually his, I just drive it. We haven't heard from the person yet, so we will see how we go with them. The dent is not major so I don't know what they will want to do, you know?

If they're uninsured or something they might not reach out to you for fear of being busted themselves.

They contacted us this evening and had a chat with my hubby. They were super understanding and not at all upset or angry. They were just really thankful that we had left a note with our details so they could contact us! We are going to sort things out on Monday  

Jul 7, 2017 21:06:00 GMT 10 kiki said:

Jul 7, 2017 13:59:23 GMT 10 ratchetrachel said:

If they're uninsured or something they might not reach out to you for fear of being busted themselves.

They contacted us this evening and had a chat with my hubby. They were super understanding and not at all upset or angry. They were just really thankful that we had left a note with our details so they could contact us! We are going to sort things out on Monday  

Sounds like good resolution is coming your way.

 I can't actually believe this. A woman just rang my doorbell and told me that she had taken my kid's picnic table
that was out on our lawn. (one of the larger plastic little tikes ones, cost about $100 new)

I guess she took it some time yesterday and we didn't notice cause the kids were in summer camp all day and I was at work, when we came home we flumped inside.

She said that the municipality says that anything at the curb is free to take.
I said not if it doesn't have a free sign on it! It was on our lawn! 
The kids had moved it over a bit to run through the sprinkler last weekend.

Anyway she said she felt bad and worried about having taken it all night (but she still tried to justify because I was clearly shocked) I said "What do you mean you took it off our lawn?"

I always tell the kids to make sure their bikes and scooters etc are away, didn't think someone would see a freaking picnic table and pinch it. 

She said she will bring it back when her husband gets home to help. I hope she does because they use that thing
all summer.  

Jul 8, 2017 4:02:40 GMT 10 anastasia said:

 I can't actually believe this. A woman just rang my doorbell and told me that she had taken my kid's picnic table
that was out on our lawn. (one of the larger plastic little tikes ones, cost about $100 new)

I guess she took it some time yesterday and we didn't notice cause the kids were in summer camp all day and I was at work, when we came home we flumped inside.

She said that the municipality says that anything at the curb is free to take.
I said not if it doesn't have a free sign on it! It was on our lawn! 
The kids had moved it over a bit to run through the sprinkler last weekend.

Anyway she said she felt bad and worried about having taken it all night (but she still tried to justify because I was clearly shocked) I said "What do you mean you took it off our lawn?"

I always tell the kids to make sure their bikes and scooters etc are away, didn't think someone would see a freaking picnic table and pinch it. 

She said she will bring it back when her husband gets home to help. I hope she does because they use that thing
all summer.  

what's wrong with people?? I'm glad she had a guilty conscience and is going to return it because that's so rude and uncalled for. There are a lot of people here who throw out old furniture and things for curb pickup and people to take, but it's literally on the curb.

I called my husband at work and told him we apparently need to fence our front yard. 
We're on a corner lot so we have more frontage than back yard, hence the kids playing there.

I guess at least she had a guilty conscience. But if you had that doubt, you probably knew it wasn't right.

Jul 8, 2017 4:48:51 GMT 10 anastasia said:

I called my husband at work and told him we apparently need to fence our front yard. 
We're on a corner lot so we have more frontage than back yard, hence the kids playing there.

I guess at least she had a guilty conscience. But if you had that doubt, you probably knew it wasn't right.

People do some strange shit. When I was a kid we had a neighbour who would steal people's cats. She was literally a crazy cat lady. Everybody's cats were going missing and then one day her daughter came to visit and was knocking on doors of everyone in the neighbourhood whose cats she had stolen apologising and giving them all back 😂

Jul 8, 2017 9:15:12 GMT 10 kiki said:

Jul 8, 2017 4:48:51 GMT 10 anastasia said:

I called my husband at work and told him we apparently need to fence our front yard. 
We're on a corner lot so we have more frontage than back yard, hence the kids playing there.

I guess at least she had a guilty conscience. But if you had that doubt, you probably knew it wasn't right.

People do some strange shit. When I was a kid we had a neighbour who would steal people's cats. She was literally a crazy cat lady. Everybody's cats were going missing and then one day her daughter came to visit and was knocking on doors of everyone in the neighbourhood whose cats she had stolen apologising and giving them all back 😂

Once we had this family literally have a picnic in our front yard. They didn't understand why it wasn't ok.

Update: they brought it back! \😄/

Jul 8, 2017 17:04:35 GMT 10 anastasia said:

Update: they brought it back! \😄/

In working order i hope!

Update on my car situation!! Hubby spoke to the guy whose car it was and he was happy to do whatever we would like to do, whether it was through insurance or we could do it privately and he would go get quotes. Hubby decided to go through our insurance and it's a good thing he did!! He rang the insurance company and they said that we probably won't have to pay a lot, if anything, because of our policy and the damage on the other car is pretty minor.
Also, the cost of our insurance is not going to be increased at all. In fact, it is being reduced because our address details were incorrect (we just moved to another state) and the cost for where we live now is lower.
Plus, to top it all off, we are getting a refund of a couple hundred dollars because my husband never cancelled the insurance for his old car and it was still being debited from his bank account!!!
What a fortunate turn of events!!! 😊 Lol

Jul 8, 2017 20:35:24 GMT 10 kiki said:

Update on my car situation!! Hubby spoke to the guy whose car it was and he was happy to do whatever we would like to do, whether it was through insurance or we could do it privately and he would go get quotes. Hubby decided to go through our insurance and it's a good thing he did!! He rang the insurance company and they said that we probably won't have to pay a lot, if anything, because of our policy and the damage on the other car is pretty minor.
Also, the cost of our insurance is not going to be increased at all. In fact, it is being reduced because our address details were incorrect (we just moved to another state) and the cost for where we live now is lower.
Plus, to top it all off, we are getting a refund of a couple hundred dollars because my husband never cancelled the insurance for his old car and it was still being debited from his bank account!!!
What a fortunate turn of events!!! 😊 Lol

Wow that's awesome!!!

Jul 8, 2017 20:35:24 GMT 10 kiki said:

Update on my car situation!! Hubby spoke to the guy whose car it was and he was happy to do whatever we would like to do, whether it was through insurance or we could do it privately and he would go get quotes. Hubby decided to go through our insurance and it's a good thing he did!! He rang the insurance company and they said that we probably won't have to pay a lot, if anything, because of our policy and the damage on the other car is pretty minor.
Also, the cost of our insurance is not going to be increased at all. In fact, it is being reduced because our address details were incorrect (we just moved to another state) and the cost for where we live now is lower.
Plus, to top it all off, we are getting a refund of a couple hundred dollars because my husband never cancelled the insurance for his old car and it was still being debited from his bank account!!!
What a fortunate turn of events!!! 😊 Lol

that worked out better than expected!! I'm so glad for you!

Thanks guys 😊

That feeling when you want to rage at and then unfriend someone on all social media but can't because it'll only make you look bad, even though you know they're only pretending to like you, and you're over people's bullshit.

Jul 9, 2017 14:00:01 GMT 10 bixie said:

That feeling when you want to rage at and then unfriend someone on all social media but can't because it'll only make you look bad, even though you know they're only pretending to like you, and you're over people's bullshit.

That sounds super frustrating. Sorry you're dealing with that, bixie. If I were you I'd mute/unfollow/do whatever you need to do to make it so you don't see their posts on your timeline but you're still friends with them. That way you don't have to see their stuff but no one thinks badly of you for it. 

Jul 9, 2017 14:07:22 GMT 10 coffeechick12 said:

Jul 9, 2017 14:00:01 GMT 10 bixie said:

That feeling when you want to rage at and then unfriend someone on all social media but can't because it'll only make you look bad, even though you know they're only pretending to like you, and you're over people's bullshit.

That sounds super frustrating. Sorry you're dealing with that, bixie. If I were you I'd mute/unfollow/do whatever you need to do to make it so you don't see their posts on your timeline but you're still friends with them. That way you don't have to see their stuff but no one thinks badly of you for it. 

Thanks! I just muted her, and I'm trying to take lots of deep breaths.

For a lot of my life, I've had a belief that people don't actually like me - that they pretend and secretly wish I would go away and/or talk about me behind my back.

Over and over, people have reinforced that belief, and it effing sucks.

Jul 9, 2017 14:12:06 GMT 10 bixie said:

Jul 9, 2017 14:07:22 GMT 10 coffeechick12 said:

That sounds super frustrating. Sorry you're dealing with that, bixie. If I were you I'd mute/unfollow/do whatever you need to do to make it so you don't see their posts on your timeline but you're still friends with them. That way you don't have to see their stuff but no one thinks badly of you for it. 

Thanks! I just muted her, and I'm trying to take lots of deep breaths.

For a lot of my life, I've had a belief that people don't actually like me - that they pretend and secretly wish I would go away and/or talk about me behind my back.

Over and over, people have reinforced that belief, and it effing sucks.

that upsets me a great deal. If it were up to me, I'd be on the hunt to find you some new and decent friends. Ass holes don't deserve your time or energy.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with that.

Jul 9, 2017 14:22:43 GMT 10 @alice7477 said:

Jul 9, 2017 14:12:06 GMT 10 bixie said:

Thanks! I just muted her, and I'm trying to take lots of deep breaths.

For a lot of my life, I've had a belief that people don't actually like me - that they pretend and secretly wish I would go away and/or talk about me behind my back.

Over and over, people have reinforced that belief, and it effing sucks.

that upsets me a great deal. If it were up to me, I'd be on the hunt to find you some new and decent friends. Ass holes don't deserve your time or energy.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with that.

Thank you. I agree, and I have cut the ones prior to this out of my life. But this time, severing ties with this person (who is a bit of an alpha in our group of friends) would probably cause me to lose other friends too. Although I guess if that's the case, what kind of friends are they anyway, right? 

It'd be lovely to one day find people who actually like me and want to spend time with me and don't emotionally abuse me, neglect me, backstab me, ignore me, or dismiss me, but apparently, that day is not today.

Jul 9, 2017 14:25:47 GMT 10 bixie said:

Jul 9, 2017 14:22:43 GMT 10 @alice7477 said:

that upsets me a great deal. If it were up to me, I'd be on the hunt to find you some new and decent friends. Ass holes don't deserve your time or energy.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with that.

Thank you. I agree, and I have cut the ones prior to this out of my life. But this time, severing ties with this person (who is a bit of an alpha in our group of friends) would probably cause me to lose other friends too. Although I guess if that's the case, what kind of friends are they anyway, right? 

It'd be lovely to one day find people who actually like me and want to spend time with me and don't emotionally abuse me, neglect me, backstab me, ignore me, or dismiss me, but apparently, that day is not today.

you're wise beyond your years. you are right, some relationships can't be sorted out overnight & things take time. protect yourself, emotionally as much as you can. So much easier said than done of course; as I struggle with that whole emotional boundary thing too. Those true and loyal friends are out there. They might be few and far between, but you'll find them.

Also trying to remind myself what my therapist always tells me: it isn't you, it's them.

Kind of gets harder to believe the more this happens, but I guess it could still be true. She seems to think so.